Don’t pin your hopes and dreams on the girl you like (Part 2)

I’m a solid optimist.   I believe that everyone has someone waiting for them.   However, it’s a harsh reality to accept that you may never find that someone in this lifetime, and you just have to settle for the happiness that God blesses you with.   It may sound bitter, but it is a hard truth that the majority of people face in their lives.

So in a previous iteration of this post I wrote about not pinning your hopes and dreams on the girl you like.   If you have this utter feeling of incompleteness, chances are you need to find support among family and friends, for in the end they will complete your life until that no longer becomes possible.   And it is human instinct to struggle to fill the emptiness caused by solitude, for he is a social animal, but it is also a harsh truth that there will come a time in his life when he must accept his inevitable solitude and isolation… after all, everyone dies alone.   Once you are reconciled to this truth about your life, can you be ready to actually go out and seek new relationships and companions without all the unnecessary baggage of too much expectation.

When you go out and meet someone for the first time, or try to restart a connection with someone you already know, do not expect that girl you like to be the one you’ve been searching for all your life.   Once again, you are pinning all your hopes and dreams unfairly on someone and pressuring them to acknowledge that they are indeed the answer to your life’s question.   This is selfish motivation, for it undercuts and neglects the hopes and dreams of the other party.   There is a quote which I heard only in the movie “Charlie’s Angels” (the quality of the movie is beside the point):  “The perfect guy will always look for the perfect girl.”   And yes, the perfect girl will always look for the perfect guy.   There are movies about underdogs saving the day and winning the girl, but the truth is they go for the alpha.   Anyway, don’t hope that the girl is the perfect girl, for it’s a stated fact that she’s also looking for the perfect guy.

Oftentimes, the girl we like serves as a validation of our self-worth.   We are loved, therefore we mean something.  One has to reconcile with the fact that everyone has inherent self-worth, and this inner value does not need an external validation.

The truth of the matter is: yes, everyone has someone out there waiting for them.   But we will never know for certain who that person would be.   The best we can do is have faith that all will come out for the best, and accept happiness where you find it.

So what about the girl you like?   Well, first, try to make a connection.   You’re not looking for the love you’ve been searching for, you’re looking for a companion on your life’s journey.   She could be a friend, a close companion, or a loved one, but the important thing is you reach out and express interest.   And expect that whoever your destiny is out there, whether it’s that girl you’re interested in or not, if you don’t find her, maybe God meant it that way.   You will never know where your destiny lies, so just be happy for the ride.

And thank God that He gave you a chance to meet that girl you like even if for just once in your life.

Keep faith, but hold no expectations.

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